Thursday, October 20, 2011

Mother of perfect angel or being held captive against my will? We'll never know.



My Dearest Sissy:
Hope all is well with you and the family. I love your poignant and astute additions to the Three Little Pigs. It was funny that you should mention that, because Sofia loves the story and I often show her the old Walt Disney classic “silly symphony” of it on youtube. She loves yelling out “huff, puff, huff, puff!” and interestingly, they show the first two “lazy” pig brothers singing and dancing while the hard-working pig is laboring with the bricks.  True to form, the lazy, hippie-artist brothers, also keep singing the taunting song “whose afraid of the big, bad wolf” over and over, even though they’re clearly scared, and never once thank the industrious brother for saving their lives. Your endings, particularly the one about paying rent and building their own brick homes, is infinitely better! Sofia, by accident, found another short cartoon about Pluto’s birthday, and basically the entire cartoon is about how Pluto is tortured by the birthday guests, when all he wants is a slice of cake. At the end, the mean, and thoughtless guests, eat up all the cake, leaving poor Pluto in tears! Then, after they all leave, and Pluto is crying, does Mickey “surprise” him with a slice of cake. WHY? why was all that necessary? and frankly, he was owed that cake, so in the end, to make up for all the torture, shouldn’t he have gotten his cake, plus damages for pain & suffering? Old cartoons are either sad or scary. 
Speaking of cartoons, Dean and I have decided to wean Sofia off of Caillou. Not really because I have such a problem with him, but Dean has developed a sensitivity to Caillou’s backtalk. As I’m sure you’ve witnessed, Sofia learned, “I don’t want to!” and “No, that’s MINE!” and “GIVE ME THAT!” from the little, bald headed fellow. I’ve grown a bit attached to the cartoon, because, well...a)Sofia has learned a lot of great things from him and b)I’m pretty sure he’s bald due to cancer of some sort. I know, I know, they say he doesn’t have cancer, but I’m certain they just don’t want us to treat him any differently. Meanwhile, I’ve got Sofia watching a few episodes here and there, not to cut her off cold turkey. I took more of a methadone approach to Caillou, better to give her a non-euphoric dose, lowering it as time goes on. She now watches one episode a week. She’s taken to liking “Little Bear” on NickJr...which, at least is calm and quiet, but just gives me the creeps. The whole show gives me the creeps. Can’t put my finger on it, but it just does. Thankfully, she loves musicals, so tv-time can mostly go to clips of Sound of Music “Do Re Me” and Annie’s “Tomorrow.” Do you remember before having children thinking we’d never use the television to babysit our kids? We were judgmental losers who didn’t know anything. 
I can’t believe how big Sofia has gotten. She’s turned into this little lady who loves tea parties, pretend feeding her babydolls, and cooking. Wow, now that I write that, am I raising a girl in 1950s deep south? Anyway, she’s obsessed with her bumblebee costume and any type of shoe in general. Do you ever just wake up and think, “omg, when did I become a mother” and do things like literally kiss snot, because my adorable daughter said, “Mama, nose running. Kiss it, make it better?” It was disgusting, but I couldn’t stop myself. And why do I take outright abuse as being hilarious. Just yesterday, I was changing Sofia’s diaper and her feet were close to my head. She actually asked me, “Don’t kick mama in the face?” It was an urge, that she thankfully QUESTIONED. WHY? All I could do was laugh. Why do we do these things? 
I truly believe motherhood is best compared to Stockholm Syndrome, the phenomenon where hostages express empathy and positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. Just think about your life prior to children and how much has changed. Think about how loyally and fervently you adore your little boys. Now tell me, what have they done to deserve this unconditional love? Mostly abuse us. They cry, they need constant attention, they throw tantrums, they make huge messes that they can’t clean, you certainly can never leave them, you cook for them, feed them, change them -even changing their diapers is a fight, wake up at all hours to soothe them...I mean logically, they are irrational people who need constant coddling. They hold us hostage and after a day of tantrums and exhaustion, after they are asleep, we actually MISS THEM and wish they were awake to kiss them 1000+ times. Sissy, we love our captors. It’s that simple.
Sometimes I wonder if Sofia is Marilla from Anne of Green Gables: aka, no-nonsense girl. She rarely cries, has slept through the night from 8 weeks old, and just like Marilla, she knows when to a) mind her own business b) stop the needless gossiping and c) go to bed at a reasonable time. Okay, the first two aren’t really applicable, but Sofia’s sleeping habits have always been amazing. Besides sleeping 8 to 8 and taking a good nap during the day, she has strangely taken to putting herself to bed at times. Last week, she was tired, and came and kissed us “night, night.” Normally I have to prompt bed time, so Dean and I decided to see what she was going to do. We watched as she turned off her light, slammed the door shut, and (viewed from the monitor) ran and jumped into her bed and went to sleep. Seriously? She did this two days in a row. Oh, and if we get back late one evening, and she goes to bed past her bedtime, she’ll sleep in to 10am. The kid likes her beauty sleep! Come to think of it, Marilla wouldn’t sleep in and certainly wouldn’t appreciate Sofia’s puff-sleeves, but would find her a kindred spirit of sorts. No fuss’n about food, sleep, or chores. 
Alright my beautiful Sissy. I miss you and my smart and funny nephews more than you know. I wish so much you could come out here for a visit. You’re the best in the biz and never forget it. Philly expects a visit sometime this year...
Love you with all my heart,
SissySara