Interactions: general

Dearest Sissy, 

I couldn’t relate more. Dean and I have fallen victim many, many times to the “cute” and “adorable” idea of having Sofie in bed with us. Akin to communism, the theory seems very reasonable and utopian, but the execution is always riddled with flaws. The capital I or as I like to say, “H” (which frankly makes much more sense, since the top & bottom of the bed should be the perspective taken) is a classic move, designed, I believe, to teach you a valuable lesson on why hierarchy is necessary in the parent-child relationship. Once those boundaries are blurred, the child will immediately stick their foot in your ribs (the proverbial “I do what I want” -Maury Povich style), however subconsciously, at precisely the moment you cycle into your much needed deep sleep. Okay, well maybe all that is an exaggeration, but seriously, it’s the worst night sleep and it quickly reminds you it is neither “cute” nor “adorable.” Sofie also likes to toss & turn, whilst sharing your pillow...so occasionally, I’d experience a giant baby-head dropping (from sitting position) on the side of my forehead. It’s like getting sucker-punched repeatedly. Traumatic really. 

So here on the East coast, I’ve noticed some interesting things about people’s reactions to Sofie... I’m not sure if it’s my particular neighborhood, or the age demographic, or what, but men out here, seem much more friendlier to Sofie than women. In general, more men smile, say hi, notice, & interact when I take walks with her than women. Most women, just turn away or avoid eye-contact...and this is including other parents. The fathers are friendlier and more engaging. I just think the whole thing is strange, I guess I’ve always loved children and I loved seeing babies, so I just don’t understand how anyone can look at a baby, stare, and look away. It’s not natural. It’s also cold & unfeeling...and I’ll KILL’EM. You dare look at my daughter and not smile??? I’ll kill somebody. Sorry, I had a point in there somewhere, but now have lost it in the blind rage created from presumed snubs...now don’t get me wrong, although I am a fierce defender of Sofia’s charm, wit, smarts & beauty, I do try hard not to impose my superior feelings onto others...which I feel oft’ not do the same in return. Here is an example: at a park recently, another mom, with 3 children was tending to her younger ones, while her older (~3 yr old) was off playing around and approached Sofie. She was a sweet little girl, named after a makeup company...but that is besides the point. Needless to say, the young girl was very gentle with Sofie & her disposition was quite agreeable. So, I complimented her mother on what a good-natured child she had ~which then led to what felt like an ETERNITY of examples of other considerate and compassionate moments she had witnessed of her child. I listened patiently and congratulated her on those proud moments...the whole time thinking: a) Do I bore people to death in that way? b) as Sofia’s #1 fan, should I now drum up 50+ examples of my daughter’s sweet-tempered personality, just to level the playing field? c) How do I get out of this conversation?

But seriously people! Take a compliment, and say, “thank you!” or even, if you want, say something nice about the other person’s kid...but pleaaaase, whatever you do, do not respond with a “yesss, she is very PURE. I have kept her spirit PURE, and I think she will be a teacher or a leader of others, etc, etc.” Maybe 10 minutes later, from across the park, after seeing her daughter sitting with Sofia on the play structure, she yelled, “I think she’s a HEALER, she heals relationships!” Oh. My. G. Too much! Too much! Every parent has the right to have self-important, grandiose, love and adoration for their children...but for heaven’s sake! there is a time and place, specifically grandparents/relatives, etc, where those thoughts can and should be shared at length. 

Oh Sissy! I miss you deeply and am happy Spring is approaching. Warmer weather always helps heal the winter humdrums (okay, got me! just wanted to use the word humdrum) Kiss the handsome boys for me and forgive me for gifting you the death trap that is a toddler grand piano. Who knew?

Love,

Sisee Sara