Who are these people?

Dearest Sissy McRoo,

Hope all is going well with you and my handsome and super-sweet nephews. I have no idea what kind of advice to give you regarding disciplining other people’s children. Seriously. It’s just tough, and I think one of those things every parent must address at some point. I’ve found it most difficult with children like 6 and up, where the parent lets the kid play on their own with no supervision, and doesn’t notice when their child is being mean to my baby. I can’t tell you how many times a 6+ old will try to close the door on Sofia, or not let her play in an area, or scream “no babies!” at her in a bullying kind of way. I always look at the parent and if they don’t say anything, I approach their child and tell them to stop and be nice in a stern way. I figure, if my child was being mean, especially to a baby, I hope a parent would come in and stop her. But really, I’m so protective over Sofia, that it’s hard to behave rationally when someone is purposely being mean to her. Plus, I understand that some parents just have children who are more headstrong, “determined,” or more aggressive than others. It makes for an awkward situation, but if they’re too exhausted to constantly reprimand their children, then they shouldn’t take offense when others step in. I have seen it the other way too, where a parent will not discipline their own child, but will another’s. At the park over the weekend, a young girl was holding up the line for the slide, while four 2 year and younger kids were waiting (not a lot of patience) and the girl, who was around 3 and (not scared), was being stubborn and wanted to “hang out” at the top of the slide. The kids were growing restless and it made for a dangerous situation because there wasn’t enough room for all of them to be up there -anyway the mom kept trying to “reason” with her child, and in a cutesy voice saying “come on, come down, you’re holding up the line sweetie, come on, sweetie, sweetie, now you have to come, etc” and finally another child, who was too young to realize what she was doing, came up to her to gently “push” the girl along. Now this is when the mom of the stubborn child, instead of actually picking her child up and removing her, decided to yell and discipline the other 2 year old for pushing -mind you, in a very loud, disciplinarian, aggressive voice, that she opted to not use on her own child -meanwhile still taking up time and making the other kids waiting even more restless... leading me to keep telling Sofia to “wait, hold on, wait honey, WAIT” to a 1 year old who thankfully listens. In that situation, if the mom disciplined Sofia I’d have lost it and in the moment I was too busy to keep the other kids from falling to just tell the mom to pick her child up! But in your situation, with the neighbor kids, it might be time for making some general, easy rules to follow, and constantly refer to them. I love how your home has become the neighborhood hang-out lot, and for your own sanity, I think you’ll need to incorporate some type of universal rules. All other suggestions will require a lot of energy from you, involving behavioral modification and reward systems, that I don’t think a mom with two toddlers can take on involving other people’s children. My only suggestion is to have rules, and if the rules are disobeyed, have the children go and get their mothers. Explain to the parent what their children are doing and have them do the disciplining -if nothing else, it’s forcing the other parents to be present and involved. Especially if you’re witnessing their children do dangerous things like play in the middle of the street or try to damage someone’s car -it is the responsibility of the parent and not you to fix the problem. Contacting the parent is super awkward, but I think a good solution to reducing your involvement in correcting their behavior. But then again, really, who knows? 

On another note: Can I just say that I’m having deep resentment stemming from your refusal to watch the Real Housewives of NY with me? I’ve been watching and am in desperate need to discuss the happenings, the blatant narcissism, and host of other -what we call in the “biz” -Cluster B personality traits, raging on without restraint. I seriously need group therapy after watching that show. Plus, now that Bethany is no longer on (we’re on first name basis), no one seems to acknowledge all the crazy, manipulative, insincere, contradictory behavior. I mean, COME ON, how does a person who releases a techno/dance song called “money can’t buy you class” (purposely spelled in lower-case -it does not deserve the dignity of proper punctuation) continue to sell themselves as respectable, or as we’ve witnessed, one who critiques age appropriate behavior? Or how does a wealthy upper-east side woman bring back chachky kuala bear trinkets and give them out as “thoughtful” souvenirs? She did this with a straight face, sissy...and in one instance actually CRIED for not being given the chance to gift it to her nemesis. I also love how whenever someone tries to confront another on something bad that they’ve done, the go to defensive reaction is to call it an “ambush” and being “attacked.” What is happening? Who are these people? -are the questions I’m hoping will drive you to tune in and watch the show immediately. So much going on, so little of it is worth any redeemable value, and yet I insist, I implore you watch it. 

The "real" housewives - a study in narcissism.

As for other things going on, I’ve been back now for a few weeks from beautiful Miami and am resenting the fact that there are people out in this world, who get to live in warm, sunny places, where the beach is actually swimmable. I’ve been trying to convince Dean to relocate to southern California for some time, but from what I’ve been told, the Pacific Ocean even in California is cold. Growing up in Oregon, I only remember the beach as a place one goes to look at something beautiful and perhaps have deep meditation or moments of inner-reflection. Also, it is a popular place one goes to test & record how quickly foot-cramps develop only mere seconds of submerging feet in water. Spring here in Philly has been beautiful, although it has rained a few times a week, which has been pretty upsetting. It is true that Oregon is extremely beautiful, but that’s when you are actually outdoors to see it. You do have the best 6 week summers though with dry heat. Count on that last week of July through the beginning of September to really get in that vitamin D for the whole year. 

Meanwhile, in non weather news, I received a “groupon” email the other day for botox, at 10 dollars a pop. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t entice me. At what point and at what age is it appropriate to start botoxing? I’ll tell you when: WHEN A NURSE TOLD ME I NEEDED IT. I’m not kidding you (assuming/hoping you were shocked at that statement). A nurse, who works for a dermatologist, told me my forehead (particularly one crease) definitely could use it -without my prompting or asking mind you. This might have been the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard, had I not been told in 2008 at an LAX Starbucks that “you look just like Blossom” -and No I was not wearing overalls with a big denim, sunflower adorned bucket hat. I was wearing a grey, pinstriped suit. But who remembers these things anyway? I have been mistaken for many people for some reason, and even in one occasion (probably the most baffling) at a wedding, by the mother of the bride, to be the BRIDE. As in, the mother of the bride, thought I was her daughter -the Bride, even though I was not dressed in white, but we both did have dark hair. On our trip to Miami, Sofia (who is with me 24/7, and has never been babysat -except for a few times in Oregon with her grandmas), mistook a medium brown haired woman (I had stepped away to get coffee) who had a major facial irregularity, to be “mama.” In fact, even when I came back, she still insisted the other woman was her mom, and as we left, she blew kisses and said “Bye-bye Mommy.” The mistaken woman was nice about the “mix up” but obviously a little weirded-out over the whole thing. Mind you, this whole incident had received the attention of ALL the people sitting outside the coffee shop and when I approached, everyone gave me the “absentee” dead-beat mom look, as if to say, “she’s away from her daughter so often that she is easily mistaken for a woman who looks nothing like her.” Dean even told me he let Sofia approach the woman, so she could see that it was not me, and not only did Sofie not realize it, she instead went up to her arm, gently patted it, and called her “mama.” Seriously, the woman looked more like Jennifer Gardner than me. What is happening? Who knows? But don’t worry, I did pick up some really thoughtful, cheap, dolphin and palm tree keychains for you and the boys. I plan on giving them to you in a very manipulative manner, one that evokes a sense of obligation or “you owing me.” 

You’re the best in the biz Sissy-roo. I can’t wait to see you and the beautiful family in less than 2 months.

xo xo,

Sara